“A Simple Man”

A Memorial Reflection Inspired by “Simple Man”

You never wanted much from this life.

Not wealth, not attention, not to be the loudest in the room. You lived simply, but your presence filled every space you entered.

You reminded me of the words in that song you loved so much, Simple Man. I hear it now when I least expect it. In the car, in the grocery store, drifting from someone’s backyard. And each time, it hits different. It lands like a voice from the other side, like a message you would still be sending if you could.

"Be a simple kind of man."

That was you.

You loved hard. You spoke the truth. You laughed fully, even when life made it hard to smile. You taught me that there was no shame in feeling things deeply. No shame in crying. No shame in admitting you were not okay.

The irony is, I wish you had been able to take that same grace and give it to yourself. I wish you had seen yourself the way I saw you, the way so many of us did.

But grief is a cruel teacher. It arrives with questions that cannot be answered and leaves behind echoes where a voice used to be.

When I heard the news about you, it was a hot, heavy day. The air hung low around me like wet cloth, as if the world itself could not breathe.

Since then, I have carried the weight of your absence the way that summer carried its humidity, thick, inescapable, clinging to skin and bone. There are days when I still walk outside and feel it settle around me, and I am right back in that moment when time cracked open.

Fifteen years is a strange number. Too long to still hurt, too short to forget.

I used to try to pack away the grief, to keep it contained where no one else had to see it. But that is not what you would have wanted. You lived honestly. You loved out loud. You would have told me, feel it all. Let it teach you. Let it soften you, not harden you.

So I do.

I let the memories sit with me. I do not push them aside. I let your song play when it comes on, even when it turns my heart inside out.

Because the truth is, you were a simple man, and there is nothing simple about the way you are missed.

If I could say one thing to you now, I would tell you this.

You mattered. You matter still.

Though I am learning to live lighter, I will never put away the love. I will carry it the way you carried your life, not perfectly, but with heart, intention, and an open spirit.

So tonight, when the air is still and heavy once more, I will stand beneath the stars, listen to your favorite song, and send these words into the dark.

"Forget your lust for the rich man’s gold. All that you need is in your soul."

I will keep your song in my soul.

I will remember you.

And I will try, each day, to live a life simple enough, honest enough, kind enough that you would be proud.